Limoncellos, the Penguin and Jeff Beck

It must takes a real man to belly up to the bar and order a Lemoncello, the mildy potent fru-fru liqueur Danny DeVito got crocked on the other night before his slurred outing Wednesday on TV's tiresome hen party "The View."

The booze didn't make DeVito any more interesting or entertaining then he has never been (although he was good in a movie I've now entirely forgotten -- oh yes, "L.A. Confidential").

But it did get us thinking about cars. Why? Jeff Beck, the only famous rock guitarist worth bothering with, told me he wouldn't mind owning a Z4, the Beamer rag top which has become the Beetle of Bevery Hills. Beck is a legend in his spare time - he spends most of his time away from music working on cars and, believe it or not, gardening. His is a life well spent, no matter what you think of English gardening.

Anyway, since I've spent decades copping Jeff's licks, I decided to cop his car, too. Until, that is, a closely trusted associate of mine, a fomer member of San Francisco's doomed late '70s/early '80s punk-rock group the Offs, told me in no uncertain terms that the Z4 was a "chick car."

And if I break down and buy one, and was spotted driving along the street - even while listening to something as ballsy as Jeff Beck's "Truth" or "Rough & Ready" albums at full volume - people would automatically think I was either a nouveau-riche interior decorator on shore leave from the Pacific Design Center or someone borrowing his sister's Z4.

All I know is DeVito was out drinking Limoncello's with George Clooney. And nobody can accuse George Clooney of being a fru-fru liqueur-sipper, although that is evidently what he is.

And Jeff Beck doesn't play the guitar like someone who would be caught dead in a chick car or would be seen sipping girly drinks served over ice in a little glass, probably with a straw and a cherry.

So, yeah, we'd be happy to drive a Z4 no matter what anybody thinks. But as for drinks, hold the Limoncellos. We'll stick to Stella and Ketel One.